BalanceQuest Marital & Sex Coaching
“I’ve been married 5 years and rarely feel intimate anymore.”
“He just doesn’t understand my emotional needs.”
“She doesn’t appreciate all the things I do.”
“I have pretty much lost any desire for sex.”
What Issues Does Marital & Sex Coaching Address?
Typical relationship issues include increasing intimacy, improving communication, and re-discovering the love connection that first brought you together. Common sexual issues addressed are heightening sexual passion, increasing sexual frequency, achieving or enhancing orgasm capacity, and improving erection and ejaculatory control.
Is Marital & Sex Coaching Traditional Therapy?
No. Traditional therapy developed from a medical illness model to treat mental and emotional problems or psychopathology. Love is perfectly natural, but not naturally perfect, and the same can be said of sex. Nearly everyone has some problems in loving and sexual expression, so these need not be viewed as pathology. Rather than treating illness, the marital & sex coach works in a similar way as an athletic coach who inspires, teaches, and guides athletes to enhance their skills and reduce barriers that block optimal performance and the achievement of potential.
How is Sex & Love Coaching Different?
PSCYHOTHERAPY
Assumes client is wounded & needs healing. Roots in medicine & psychiatry. Focus on feeling, past & trauma. Explores deep roots of problems. Focus on uncovering unconscious. Resolution of inner conflicts and letting go of old patterns.
COACHING
Assumes client is capable & ready to grow and self-actualize. Roots in positive psychology and personal growth. Focus on action, present & goals. Focus on problem solving. Harnessing the power of consciousness. Removing barriers, learning new skills & making better choices.
How Does Marital & Sex Coaching Work?
Marital & Sex Coaching views marital love as the highest form of human achievement and considers sexuality as a positive, healthy, and spiritual expression of love that can become problematic because of medical, emotional, and interpersonal issues. After evaluating these aspects of your love relationship and sexual functioning, our coaching model focuses on cultivating love and sex positive strategies, thoughts and behaviors that enhance passion.
As needed, we may explore deeper psychological and relationship issues that limit intimacy and sexual expression. Spirituality is emphasized for those so inclined.
What is Your Philosophy of Marital & Sex Coaching (MSC)?
Balance
MSC draws on the concept that “balance” is the basis for physical, emotional and spiritual health and that imbalances cause illness or dysfunction.
MSC helps you examine the nature of your love bond and your sexual value system. Values clarification and enhanced love connection are foundational steps.
Cognitive Balancing
Healthy love and sex requires positive thoughts and values. MSC cultivates healthy and well-balanced attitudes, thoughts and self-affirmations that increase the capacity for love and sexual pleasure.
Emotional Balancing
Maintaining emotional balance is one of the critical skills for engaging in a passionate and loving relationship. MSC cultivates the capacity to manage your mood and your reactivity to your partner’s moods.
Self-Other Balancing
Close relationships must maintain a delicate balance between individuality and attachment. Imbalances occur when people become overly aloof or get so involved they lose themselves in the relationship.
The key to passionate love and sex, according to international sex expert, Dr. David Schnarch, is the ability to “hold on to yourself”, to maintain your individuality, while also being involved in an intimate relationship. MSC helps you learn how to be yourself AND be in an intimate relationship which releases your full potential for deep love and passionate sex.
Past-Present-Future Balance
In real estate, the maxim is “Location, location, location.” In love and sex, it could be “Time, time, time.” The key to happiness generally is in the present moment, experiencing what is happening directly and fully as it unfolds. People who dwell on losses in the past become depressed, and those who worry about the future are anxious.
MSC strikes a balance that helps you clarify future goals for love and sex and discover ways to deal with past experiences that may impede progress towards these goals.
But the emphasis is on learning how, during the intimate encounters, to let go of past and future so you can be totally immersed in the present moment with your partner, aware only of each other and expressing your deep feelings of caring, closeness, appreciation, respect and passionate desire (i.e., love) in a sensual, loving and spiritual way.
How Do Sessions Work?
Most sessions are conducted in person. Some are conducted by telephone, which can be highly effective. Most sessions are about 45 minutes to 1 ½ hours in length. Sessions may be scheduled for once a week or less or more frequently depending on your schedule, my availability, and your needs for sex coaching.
What Are The Fees?
Fees range from $100 to $150/45 minute session and $130 to $185/60 minute session. Payment is expected at the conclusion of each session by check, cash, or credit card. For phone coaching, payment is made in advance. If finances are a problem, a limited sliding fee scale or payment programs may be available.
Clients typically contract for anywhere from 4 initial weekly sessions to 3-6 months. Coaching is NOT covered by medical insurance.
What About Missed Appointments?
There is a 48-hour-advance cancellation policy. If you fail to cancel or reschedule within that time frame, a $100.00 charge will be asked of you for the missed appointment. Of course, in the case of serious illness or injury, there is no charge for the missed appointment.
What Can You Expect?
This type of work can be transformational for your whole life, not just your marriage and sexuality. By trusting the process and allowing me to be your guide, you will grow, learn, and become a more empowered person generally. Thank you so much for choosing me as your coach. I am honored and excited that we are going along this path together.
What are My Credentials?
Dr. Schwartz is President of Cognitive Dynamic Therapy Associates and Adjunct Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. He has 30 years experience helping hundreds of couples and individuals to enhance their sexual and marital functioning.
Dr. Schwartz authored over 30 scientific research papers and popular articles on positive thinking, love, and sexuality, and teaches sex therapy to medical and psychiatry students. He is a Sex Therapy Fellow certified by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
How Do I Get Started With Marital & Sex Coaching?
Call Dr. Robert Schwartz for a Free Telephone Consultation to see how Marital & Sex Coaching can help you.
Phone: 412-687-8700 Ext. 102
Or e-mail me at robsch@pitt.edu